Recently, I've had numerous moments that have been quite sobering and have taken my breath away. Each of them has been a powerful reminder that God is in charge!
I attend the memorial service for Mr. Glenn this past weekend and it still seems surreal that he's gone. I was struck with a number of thoughts:
- I hope I'm remembered so positively when it's my time. I hope that I've lived a life that serves the Lord and gives me the opportunity to serve others. I hope I'm remembered as a loving & caring wife, mother, friend, sister & daughter. I hope I make an impact on those lives I come in contact with. I hope I use my brain tumor to always give glory to God and convey the message of His goodness.
- like the Kirk Franklin song says, "it could of been me". This has hit me in subtitle ways the past few weeks. My two year anniversary is soon (February 25) and I can't help but think how close it all came for me. I'm not sure I will ever fully grasp with how close I really was. God spared my life when I had Kadin, the days following that until surgery, and following surgery. Those last few days of February 2010 were tough, but I'm still here and for a purpose.
-the final message that really stood out was DON'T WAIT. Live your life with purpose & meaning. Tell those that you love, how special they are. If you have goals and dreams, strive for them, make them come true. Make the most of what you have, as Americans, we always want more, we want better, but, we are so blessed and we need to accept what we have and are and use that to make this world better. Don't worry, I'm talking to myself too.
The other big moment was as I stood at my kitchen sink this Thursday morning, cleaning strawberries for my boys, I heard and saw an ambulance race up the hill by our house. I glanced at my watch and noticed the time. Almost two years ago, a similar scene played out, only that ambulance was coming for me. Little did I know that my life was about to dramatically change. What a simple yet mind blowing experience of how quickly time changes.
Another gentle reminder that keeps replaying throughout my life is my regained ability in multitasking. An example of this is the fear I previously generated, worrying, about how I'd manage dropping Zach off at school with Kadin in tow. I managed this and then it snowed. I managed this task and then Kadin got a bit older & a bit more independent waiting during pick up. I've mastered that and last week, we stepped it up another notch. With both boys in tow, school bag loaded with snow stuff, snowy parking lot, I added a bag of donated stuff for the local Rescue Mission. The day before, I walked through it all in my head, planning as much of it as I could. I couldn't help but feel exhilarated when Kadin & I strolled out of the school after dropping Zach, his snow gear, and our donation off. Wowie! Still changing! Praise God!
I'm sure as my two year anniversary approaches, I'll be doing some more introspective processing and hopefully I'll gain some nuggets of wisdom.