Monday, February 25, 2013

3 years.... Already

Wow! I can hardly believe it. Three years ago Sunday, I was being ushered to the hospital to find out what was wrong. I walked to the awaiting ambulance (w/fireman help), no sirens and no lights. I talked with the EMT the whole way to the hospital about my husband Darren who had been his patient a few months before when he broke his leg during a men's league hockey game. I apologized for wasting their time in picking me up cause I'm sure others needed their aide more than I. I arrived at the ER minutes later & I think I walked into the ER. I was escorted to a hospital bed and I got on and the last thing I remember is one of the EMT's asking if I felt alright and I responded with 'no, I don't feel so good.' Boom! Grand Mal Seizure and then blank until bits from a few days later. I relive the moments before & in the days that follow rarely. I'm not sure if that's a coping mechanism or because of the time passed and I've begun to feel somewhat removed. I do know that this years it's presence is affecting me and I'm not sure why. Every time I hear a reference to Fur Rondy, the Winter Celebration that occurs this time of year, every year, I'm instantly transported to my ICU room (#2) that Nurse Shamese moved me in so that we (my family, cause I was still immobile) could enjoy the Fur Rondy dog races (mushing). In the years before, I hadn't particularly paid attention to Fur Rondy other than to note that the Empty Bowl took place the week after it, now, I feel strangely connected to it. Saturday night after Zach's hockey game, we loaded our family into the car and rushed down to Ship Creek to catch the Fur Rondy Fireworks. Things did not go as I hoped which made an even deeper impact to my wounded heart. I won't bore you with the details, it was just stupid stuff, but it impacted me still. You see, I'm trying hard to make positive memories out of a life shattering time.  I'm not willing to let the tumor win!  Sure things won't always turn out as I plan or hope, but I want my boys, my husband, me to have great memories of something fun we did together during this time, not to relive the fear, anxiety, sadness and uncertainty that my sickness covered us with. I win/ WE WIN! Ha! Take that Hemangioblastoma!

In all of it, I'm sure of a few things:

God is in complete control!
He was present through it all and He saved me!
My husband is incredible & he loves me so much (the feeling is mutual Babe ;) - I'm so thankful for you!
My boys are angels. (True they don't always act that way but, they warm my heart)
My family is amazing! Your sacrifices on my behalf are not forgotten. Thank you for loving me that much!
My prayer warriors are a complete blessing. I know He was listening.
My friends have been outstanding, supportive & encouraging.
My Doctors, Nurses & Therapists were hand picked.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. May God be glorified in it all!!!!!


Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day

This post wont be gushy or filled with flowery remarks.  I'm really not that big on Valentine's Day. Maybe it is because my birthday is a few days later or that everything is hyped up and overpriced. I don't know, I would rather my husband surprise me with flowers on another day that isn't earmarked for couples.  In fact, this year we decided to do a dinner out some other day and no gifts.  Well I fudged it a bit... I got him a buy 2 get 2 Snickers (his favorite) at the store this morning and quickly jotted something about his many wonderful qualities  I especially love him for all the SNICKERS he gets out of me.  I do truly love my husband, I just don't need a special day to tell me so.  I will tell you it was quite comical this morning at the grocery store watching all the men frantically looking for the right card, chocolate & flowers.  It was great people watching for sure!

I did however grab something small for the boys (books ;) and some donut holes that I attached a note to that said DONUT you know I love you a HOLE bunch! Thank you Google Search!

I also did some fun valentine's for Zach to take to school for each of his classmates.  Its a glow in the dark bouncy ball that says - It's been a BALL getting to know you this year.  Oh fun!

I hope you have a great day today! May you take the time each day to tell those you love just that.


Monday, February 04, 2013

My baby is 3!

Happy 3rd Birthday Kadin!

This past weekend, we celebrated Kadin turning 3! I can hardly believe he is already that old, but it's undeniable. He is really into superheroes now, so what a perfect theme. We all dressed with our superhero shirts and got ready to party. It was great to see others donning their superhero garb as well. We had a build your own 'hero' sandwich, chips, watermelon, veggies & dip, punch & of course cake. I had planned to do Thor's hammer & the symbol for Green Lantern, but that just didn't work out. The night before the party, my Mom baked a vanilla bundt cake for me to decorate. It was great to see friends & family, but we missed those who couldn't be there. Kadin was blessed with great gifts that he is already enjoying. Enjoy the pictures.


Our Family - Superhero Squad

Captain America bundt cake

Thor Hammer cake

'Hero' Sandwich makings & other food



Super Kadin


Batman & Robyn (Robin)

The full Superhero Squad