Tuesday, July 20, 2010


To be perfectly honest, I am a foodie. Whenever I am hugry, bored, emotional, etc I eat. It doesn't have to be sweet or salty, it just has to be good. In fact, I would probably make a nutrionist pass out by just hearing some of the things I have consumed. Not only am I a foodie, but I am also an emotional eater. When I am sad. I eat. When I am happy, I eat. When I am bored, I eat. I never need an excuse to chow down. You'd probably think I was rather large, but in fact I am perfectly average. I love healthy food just as much as the processed crap out there. I remember what I last ate... okay not trying to pull anything past you. You are probaably saying, so do I smarter, that was my lunch an hour ago. But for me, my last time eating was February 24,2010. I had a can of Dr. Pepper and two advil to tame the headache that would not go away. I have been eating through a tube since about February 28,2010 when one was shoved down my nose and into my intestines. Apparently, I didn't like that too much or I knew another fate was coming and I ripped that out during a dream in the middle of the night. I remember it all too! Ouch! It hurt going in but it was worse coming out. Then a day or so later, a PEG tube was put through my stomach. I won't gross you out with all the details of how it got there, but I will tell you that I remember that too. The pain was excruciating and I can honestly say I never want to go through that again.

So hear I am, almost 5 months later and 15 pounds lighter than my admit weight, eating Jevity, liquid nourishment, through a tube in my tummy. Speech Therapy is progressing and swallowing is coming along, it just takes a while. I am now starting to crave things, which hadn't happened before. I hope this is a sign from my brain that eating is just around the corner. HOPE HOPE HOPE HOPE HOPE

As you may have noticed my backdrop to my blog is a cheeseburger :0) In fact, my graduation gift from therapy is a trip to In-N-Out in California, where I can enjoy a yummy cheeseburger, fries, and shake while enjoying the sun. Let's pray it is sooner than later. You see, swallowing is a complex function that we did in the womb and never had to learn, it just came natural. Except for me - now. I try lots of new foods with my speech pathologist and have swallowed small bites (eraser size) of hot fudge, pringles, cheese puffs, jello, soda, etc. We try different textures all in an attempt to get my mouth to work together as my tongue is still sluggish. I have come a long way in this regard too. I told my Speech Pathologist that I would be having pizza at Zach's 3rd birthday party, which is this September, and she liked my goal.

So back to food - as a foodie before, I have become rather obsessed with food. I am constantly looking for receipes to prepare and cooking tons of food without taste, just by sight and smell. According to my husband, he wouldn't cook for us if he were in this position, but he certainly has enjoyed the fruits of my labor. My Motheer-in-law didn't know I could cook until I came home and started trying new things. I wore out my crock pot and have purchased at least a dozen new cook books.

I look forward to the day I can finally enjoy a meal and get rid of this PEG tube. I crave the funniest thing from day to day. As soon as I reach my journey, I will be sure to share it with you.



  1. Jessica,
    I've enjoyed starting to read your blog. I cannot imagine how good that first meal is going to taste!
    Have you craved anything you wouldn't have craved before this whole ordeal?
    You're in my prayers and I praise God for the successes you've already experienced!
    - Kara Lyons-Pardue

  2. Hey-we have an In-and-Out right down the road! If you end up in Bakersfield dinner is on me! :) Hugs to you!

  3. Roo-let me know when you hit your and my cupcake partner and i will figure out how to ship you a dozen of our cupcakes whatever flavor you desire.
    i know you can do it and i bet you will beat your goal of Zach's 3rd birthday pizza....your amazing