Sunday, March 22, 2015

Firsts Revisited

As a result of my Brain Surgery, I was able to experience many 'firsts' again.  Its normal to hear from your parents about your first word, first tooth, first step. I didn't realize when I was watching these in Zachary that I'd be re-experiencing these with Kadin, but sometimes life is funny.  I started walking again in March 2010 before I was able to leave ICU/CCU and move into Progressive Care and then onto Rehab.  This looked quite different that what you probably experience on a daily basis. For me, it entailed a walker, leg weights, an IV pole, oxygen tank & a wheelchair trailing behind. I had quite an entourage.  By the time I got to Rehab, I was detached from the IV pole, the oxygen tank, and no longer had a wheelchair following me. I also had my very own fancy walker that could also be used as a chair when I needed a break. It came equipped with a basket and my sister Jaime put a bicycle bell on it to let people know I was coming thru. What a hoot that was!  As part of my days in Rehab, I was learning to walk without the assistance of a walker as this was one of my primary goals.  On March 19th, 2010. I took my 'first steps' without assistance. My fabulous Physical Therapist was inches in front of me, poised & ready to catch me if I fell as that was quite a possibility.  You see me almost do just that in the video & the look of fear & determination I had is unmistakable.  I am sure as many of you have followed my recovery or learned of it after the fact, it is quite difficult to imagine just what I was like. This video shows it all. I cannot explain how unnerving it was to learn to do something I had mastered over 20 years before. Its still something that I must work on, but its a constant reminder of all the blessings I have received.

I wish I could figure out how to add a voice recording to show you the difference in my voice as it is quite dramatic too.  My Mom had a voice recording of me saved on her phone of Zach & I when he was potty training.  The next saved message was one of me when I was in Rehab. I struggle now to understand myself.  I have a hard time figuring out how my family ever understood me.  Thankfully, I used sign language & many notebooks (which I still have) to communicate.OH and they were INCREDIBLY patient.

After looking back at all this, I can only say GOD IS GOOD!


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