Thursday, March 14, 2013

my how time changes

Three years ago Tuesday, I moved from ICU to PCU. It made me nervous & scared, but Nurse Linda reminded me that they wouldn't move me unless I was ready. So here I was, another step closer to home. That first night in PCU was interesting. My Dad had his first sleepover which came with awkward moments like multiple assisted trips to the bathroom to make sure I was fine. We survived with limited sleep, my frequent bathroom breaks & the lady next door who wailed all night due to recovery from surgery.

Well here three years have passed and again it's a sleepless night. Kadin began sneezing Sunday and Monday the runny nose & coughing began. Tuesday was more of the coughing and congestion. He struggled with his breathing. I began using our at home nebulizer and was able to give him two doses before bed. He slept about 3 1/2 hours before he woke up and started crying and screaming. He was definitely struggling to breathe. I had to restrain him so Darren could hold the nebulizer mask on him. I know it sounds cruel & I will assure you it was torture but as any parent whose had to restrain their child for any health procedure it's horrible for all involved. I kept reassuring him that nice deep breaths would help him. He cried & screamed & thrashed. I tried to be strong emotionally and remember my job was to keep calm for him. After a few minutes, which seemed like eternity, he began to relax and I was able to release my hold. I finally could wipe away the tears and stroke his head. He broke my heart through those first moments as he screamed he did want to do it (the nebulizer) and through the mask it sounded like he said 'I'm dying." You never want to hear this come out of their mouth! I instantly flashed back to my many moments like this in ICU. I remember the panic & fear I had when I was unable to breathe. Thankfully those feelings have lessened and they're not as nearly as intense. I felt like I was reliving this through Kadin's struggle. At the end of the treatment, he was again ready to sleep, in fact he was nodding off in the final moments of the medicine. I accompanied him back to his room and Darren & I decided that I'd stay there & attempt to sleep on the floor. No luck! Three hours later, Kadin and I were back in my room, the conflict was that the medicine stated it could be given every four hours. We weighed Kadin's behavior, breathing, trip to the ER & what they'd do when we finally got in. From previous ER/Doctor visits, we decided that the course of treatment they'd render would be another nebulizer treatment, so that's what we did. Again, I restrained our precious son who responded to the treatment similar to the one 3 hours before. We decided that we'd see how he did the next few hours & call for a Doctors appointment first thing. If anything were to change for the worse we'd be heading to the ER. Darren's the ER escort because I'm not confident I'd be able to handle the situation. My boys are getting so big & physically carrying them is hard. I don't compartmentalize as I once did and situations that are emotionally charged or uncomfortable for me tend to overwhelm me. So an ER trip would be hard because all Kadin wanted was Mommy and if Darren tried to bring him to the ER, it could possibly make him more upset & further worsen his breathing. Thankfully we made it to 8:00 when we called the Doctors office & snagged an appointment for 8:30. We quickly dressed the boys and all four of us jumped in the car & headed toward the Doctors office. A few minutes after we arrived, we  were shown in to see the nurse who listened to Kadin and concluded that he'd need another nebulizer treatment and they'd check his oxygen levels before & after.  If that treatment did not open him up enough then they'd do another breathing treatment with a steroid.  Well, he got both.  He is such a polite & nice little boy despite the fact he feels terrible, good thing his lungs said the truth cause if you were going off his behavior they'd have just sent him home. So, we came home with instructions to continue the at home nebulizer treatments and a liquid steroid 2x daily for 5 days.  We have to bring him back this weekend for a listen assuming all continues on the right track.  Today, a day out, we have hope its getting better. He slept through the night last night and is somewhat back to his spunky self.  A few more days of treatments and he'll be back to new.... just in time for his April testing at the Allergenist office.  Will let you know how that goes....Thanks for listening


Kadin & I in his bed - tough night

Zach being a goof in the Doctors office while Kadin's doing a breathing treatment

Sitting on Daddy's lap to do breathing treatments

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