Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Easter & other thoughts

Well another Easter has passed and I must admit I liked this years' better than last. This year I assembled baskets and hid eggs around the house & the backyard. I got to hear first hand, my oldest son's excitement - "I love jelly beans, they're my favorite!" I was able to enjoy Easter dinner with family and try some of everything. I had ham, scalloped potatoes, peas, fruit salad, deviled egg, red pepper & mushroom with dip, cresent rolls & lemon cake. It was all delicious and I savored every bite, especially the lemon cake. I reflected to where I was the previous Easter. I originally was suppose to be out before Easter but I got pneumonia and that pushed my release date back. Ironic that I got pneumonia this year too. I returned to the gym today and it felt good. I was a little tired and my breath was a little labored, but I gave it a shot and am looking forward to Friday when I return.

I've noticed that I became a little preoccupied with my Easter food above that I didn't even mention what an incredible gift we were all given on Easter day. I truly appreciate the gift of the cross and am completely unworthy of it, but am so THANKFUL it is there to cover my blemishes. I know myself well enough to know that I have not fully embraced the meaning of Easter. Yes, I logically understand what happened and why, but being a Mom and being so close to death, I find myself afraid to venture into the whole emotional piece it has. I know that once I am able to humbly surrender this, I can even more appreciate this remarkable day.

I started therapy this week (who really wants to admit that out loud?) too and although it will be tough, I know the journey will be worth it! I am looking forward to some of the 'projects' I will be doing, now that I've had a chance to step back and analyze them and their purpose.

Have you ever wondered what the three grey fish are on my blog? Well, let me tell you... they are grey because that is the color of brain tumors, they are alive because, well, I'm alive, and there are three to represent my husband and boys.

Sorry this post is so random... I just have a lot swirling in my head. For my brain party, I received a devotion book from a friend of mine. Over the years, I have received my share of devotion books but have never really explored them. Well, I am convinced that God orchestrated this one for me. Last week was really tough for me. I was overcome with emotions and felt defeated. One night as I sat in bed and prayed that God would help me work through all that I was going through, He reminded me of this book. I opened it and read the days thoughts. Wow, this fit my life perfectly. Needless to say, I read it first thing in the morning and sure enough as the day unfolds the devotion comes to life. Each day, I have enjoyed what was said and I am thankful for this book and the friend who was used by God to place it in my life (thanks Cathy Jo). Here's what today says:

Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and breadth of your neediness. Your life-path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to Me for nurture. Let Me fill you up with My presence: I in you, and you in Me. My power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to My Presence.

John 17:20-23; Isaiah 40:29-31
Devotional ~ Jesus Calling by: Sarah Young

Thank you again for your prayers & unwavering support. God is good! All the time!


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