Over the past few weeks I've had struggles with this and it seems to be cathartic for me to write.I guess if you gave permission for a person to be upset, you might allow me some grace. BUT, I have to stop myself & pick myself up & move on. I cannot wallow! It is pointless and I have so much to be thankful for.Apparently, God knew I needed a blessing & the opportunity to give Him credit for my recovery because this morning He gave it to me. After my early morning workout, I headed to the grocery store to buy a few groceries and I had a great moment. I was getting a salad at the salad bar and had a brief exchange with the store employee who stocked the supplies. She noted my voice and I briefly explained what had happened to me. She told me her daughter had a brain tumor too and she asked where & what kind I had. I told her and her daughter had the same type & came through it without any problems. I initially had two reactions - yeah for them & I wonder how often that happens compared to my outcome. As our conversation continued I went on to explain my initial deficits and how this has been an awesome opportunity to give God the glory. She told me that she had stomach cancer and God healed her. We talked about how people ask us, why you? We both said, why not? I was so blessed by this. I think it is fine to feel sad about deficits I still have, but I need to CHOSE to use those feelings to work harder to move forward. I have new goals for myself.