Happenings

This past weekend, I got to attend my sister Jaime's baby shower. It was at my Dad and Step-Mom's house and I planned most of it. She wanted a Dr. Seuss theme and I had fun trying to incorporate it in the invitations, food, favors & gift I gave. It was so great to have so many wonderful ladies in attendance. I'm including a few photos of the big day. Thank you Mom, Mom #2, Wendy, Aimee, and Bonnie for your help with food.

In addition to that the Salvation Army had their annual Teddy Bear Tea. This year my Mom and I dressed 31 bears. It would have been great to see how they were received but I'd rather spend the price of the tickets, dressing a bear. I'm also including pictures of the bears we entered. We received a special recognition for our 15 "Awareness bears", 1st place for our "Remembering 9-11 Heroes"' 2nd place for our "Prince William & Kate Middleton", and 3rd place for our "Chef Bobby Flay." *please note that there is 1st, 2nd, & 3rd place in each of the 10 categories then a group of special recognition and the Grand Prize. We had a first this year, we had one of our bear sets (Prince William & Kate Middleton) get auctioned in the live auction. It'll be interesting to see what I come up with next year. Thank you Mom for teaming up with me and being willing to tackle the costumes I come up with sans formal pattern. We have been doing this for 6 years and it is such a fun way to be involved.

Aloha

Darren and I just returned from a week long trip to Maui. We left the boys at home with both our Mom's. It was hard to leave them behind, but it was needed. Too often couples go through a tough time when their kids leave for college. It seems too easy to become consumed with rearing & raising your children and too east to set aside the marital relationship. Add this to recovery and you've got a recipe for disaster if you're not careful. It was great to sit & think about the past 18 months and what it means. It was awesome to openly begin discussing what we thought and felt about where life had taken us and where we thought it was currently taking us.

During the trip we played in little waves, walked on the beach, did a tiny hike, went on a 4 wheeler (2 person buggy style) tour, walked a lot, spent an afternoon (5 hours) at a rented cabana & ordered poolside food & drink service, ordered room service, saw three movies (2 in room), saw Cirque Polynesia, watched Ulalena, went for a late night swim, and just enjoyed the lanai life (sunsets, sunrises, and waves crashing).

It was a great time, but it was so good to get hugs & love from our boys when we returned.

I'm sharing some pictures and I hope you enjoy!

One thing that I realized during this trip was that I need to be very conscientious of my feelings of jealousy. I really had a hard time watching people frolic and play. I wish I could run the course at our hotel. I wish I could have played more in the ocean with Darren. I wish I could have done the zipline. I wish I walked with more fluidity. I wish my eating was faster & smoother. I am however not letting any particular food out of reach. I had some fantastic food and went to two awesome shows. What good memories that I have. I'm just more determined to work harder so when we go back on vacation with the boys, it'll be easier than it was. I am determined to be better. I refuse to accept defeat.

Please keep praying for me, I've noticed that the pain I normally have in my arms & legs at bedtime were nonexistent in Hawaii, but returned full force now that I'm home and in a colder climate.

Thanks again Grandma Lani & Grandma Luann. Thank you Lord for getting me to this point!

DINOmite!

Monday, my Angel baby, Zachary turned four (4). To celebrate, we had a DINOmite dinosaur birthday party this past weekend. We tried to infuse the dinosaur theme into everything. We had a ROARing good time and friends & family made it EGGstra special. It feels like just yesterday we were bringing home from the hospital. It is so hard to believe he's already four. So grown up! I remember last year, I was still unable to swallow & hoping to have some of the birthday party food, Moose's Tooth pizza. Unfortunately, I was unable, but this year, I partook fully.

In addition to the birthday party, I also have 31 Teddy bears to finish dressing for Salvation Army's Teddy bear tea.

I also volunteered at Zach's preschool and that was an interesting experience. I am amazed at the patience his teachers have. It was great to see what Zach does at school. I really enjoyed it despite one little girl commenting on my voice and one little boy growling, hissing & gnashing his teeth at me when I broke him and another boy apart.

I learned Tuesday that I'm mostly done with speech therapy. My therapist and I plan to meet occasionally. I am really not sure how to feel about this. It's definitely a milestone, but I had dreams that I'd sound like I use to. I guess I'll have to accept the truth, it just makes me really sad. I also had to say farewell to Anne, my therapist, who played such a significant role in my recovery. Anne believed in me and encouraged me when I wasn't sure I'd swallow and I was so convinced that I'd never get better. She has been such a big Blessing in my life and I'm grateful she took me on as a patient.

Thank you Anne! Your gift of encouragement, support, guidance, kindness, and love were so uplifting to me. I'll never forget that.

Although I'm still processing how I feel about this new stage, I'm not only reminded of where I've been, but I'm grieving the part of me that will never be. As I'm looking at my life and the course I've travelled these last two years, I find myself confused. I'm such a planner by nature and before all this happened, I had everything planned & mapped out. Now, it's different. I'm not saying, I don't have hopes & dreams for the future, I just have a realization of who holds my future. God says in Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Here's to the road that lies ahead! I can't wait to see where God leads me. Thank you God for getting me this far!

Blessings